


kaneki saves humens

by 8BIT_Scorpion



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Tokyo Ghoul, Gen, Ghouls, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-04 22:53:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21205403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8BIT_Scorpion/pseuds/8BIT_Scorpion
Summary: there is a guy who likes humens so he hates it when they get killed so he saves then





	1. the starting

kaneki save humens

kaneki was a humen gool guy who was saw a lady name risa who had big boob so he said "yo want fuck" "sure bby" said rida but then kaneki and she walk into backyard "THIS IS MY KAGAMI HMMM PRETY COOL?!" AND SHE ATACK KANEKI WITH IT "NOOOOO UR KAGAMI IS TO POWERFUL FOR MEEEEE" and he faint but then some1 beihnd him name hide shot RISA "omg dude we need save him" said hide and he saved he

hospital

kabuki woke up in hipstopal "shit wat hapened to me" but then he saw gool mommy and humen dadyd "OMFG DUDE IM SO HAPY UR NOT DIE" say humen dead and he huged janaku "but bro did i die" "no sptuid if u died ur be IN HELLLLL I WILL TAKE U TO HEL BICH" and then his DAD TRYED KILING HIM WITH PILOW "STUPID HUSBEND DONT KILL SUN" and gool mom ATE HER HUSBENF "kanki r u ok" say gool mom my "ye mommy" "ok i think their is time 4 u to go to home" and she turned of his life suport mashine so kanki can get up "thx mommy" said kaneki

home

kaneki was eating rise "this rise is delisious thank u mommy" "ur welcome sun but u have to eat humen so i put ur daddy in rise" THEN KANJI SPIT IT OUT "I DONT LIKE EATING DADDY" say kaneki "U HAVE 2 OR U WILL DYEEEEE" say gool mommy "ok" say kankei and he ate

gool

the gool kiler guys went nockkng on doors and then goll mommy open door and at dio wad a old guy with week back with wite hare "haha gools r fuck i will kill u son how is gool" said mayo "no" said gool mommy "u cant proov my sun is gool" and then madonaise said "o shit ur rite IL BE BACK"

next day

mayonaise was back and he said "here i have note and it says that ur kid is gool" "O SHIT ok give me 1 day to get evidense" say goll mommy "NO" said made "I KILL HIM NOWE!" and he activeted his kagami and STABED GOOL NOMMY "NO MOMMY" say kan kenaki "sun run away run n be safe" "I WILL TAKE UR KAGAMI HAHAHA" say mado and he started EATING HER

kaneki

kaneki wase crying "noooooo shes died" abd he was at his mommys funerel "i love my wife 4ever i so sad she died" said humen dad "waaaa" but then he looked and saw a guy in a car and the guy walked out and it was MADO "haha i m here to find gool noobs" "we have no gools here RUN KANEKI HE KILLS GOOLS LIKE U" say humen dad "i think u r liyimg their r GOOLS" and nude used his kagami to KILL HUMEN DAD "no dad" said kaneki and he runed "hmm no kagami i domt want hi" m so mado donate his boduy to homeles home

kaneki school

kaneki was at school and hide walk up to him "yo kaneki im sry about what hapen 2 u :(" say hide "wtf are u" sakd kanaki "im the guy who saved u" "ok" sau kanoki and they kised but then toka who was sunder walk ip m say "I TOTALY THINK UR FUCKN UGLY" say toka but then a dude named sukiyamy walk up and say "dude kanrki lest be frendos" said suki "ok" said nokia

kaneki and suk

they wree in the garden "dude bro i here about the die so can u com to my fansy restarant so we can eat to selebrate" "ok" said ken and he took dikiyamaa sell number

kunuki home

kaneki was back home and thrn an old dude with rinkles said "bro i am gool 2 so com to our home" and janeki "ok"

gool home

kaneki sited doen "awww" and he siped some beer but then toka said "FUCKING DIE PRICK I THINK UR UGLY" and then guy with glases said "haha gool i thoght u wernt gool"

kaneki starve

kaneki eat some rise THEN HE STARVED "I NEED 2 EAT HUMEEEEEN" "NO" and every1 runed to safety and danedi cryed

2 be continue


	2. touka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WHAT HAPPENED TO TOUUUUUUUKKKKKAAAAAAAAAA????

kaneki save humens 2

kaneki was STARVENG then token welk up to him "fucking bich SRIP U DONT HAVE 2 EEEEEAAAATTTTTTT" shout she in rage pasion n lust "motherfuck i will whopper ur as OLD SCHOL" and then they start fighting kanki use his kagami and IMPALE TOKA toka lyed their on floor dying in anger becuse she is so very angery then kanki walk up yo her and EAT HER MOURH

da next day the old guy walk up to kanki "U EAT MY FREEEEEND" shout hum and kanki was crying "IM SRY I DIDENT MEAN TO" "NO" and old man SPALLED KANEKU "get FYCK OUT OF HERE MOTHE BICH" and kaneki raned put crying "war did i do i never hurt any111 Y IS THIS FUCKS SO MEEEEEEEN!" and then tokuch goat walk behind kaneki "booo im toka cans gost and fuck u kaneki 4 eting meeee" kaneki wase crying becusw of hes memorys he had wif her

flashbwck

kaneki look at his phine n saw pictuee of toka punching kanki he had blashfack "FUCK U KANKI U STUPID AS I TOTES HATE U BAKA GAJIN" ans toja threw table at him so kanki was cryeng but not sad becuse of how hot shes was

toka gost

tola ghost caled the police she said "IM AM TOKA CHAN AND KANKI CUN EAT" so tyen the poise goit out

kanki

kanki was eting humen rise then polise BUST IN HOUSE N SAYED "MOTGERFUCK UR UNDER AREAR"

jail

kanoku was in JAYIL and cryeng so then dedective mayo walk h "haha fuck gools i will make u get fucked up" "noooo" say kanki "nyway who wil defen u in cort" "ME" say nato "ok"

CORT

"triale is now in sesion for the court of kanki cun" "is prosecurionn eedy" amd then amen got there who was mados sun "YES IN AMEN AND IM PEOSECUTE HIS AS!" hhen juge call naked to stand

mado was on stand "TESTIFG" saud amen "ok shit man" said maci

wotnes testimony

"when i checked the body their was kankis fingers on it"

"OBJECTINE" said kanki "I DIDNT TOCH HER DED BODY AFTER KILING HER" "o shit" said mado "heheh" said amwn "THAT BECUSE U CUT OF U FIGGERS SO U DONT GET CAGHTTTTTTTTTT" shout ame in rage pasion n lust " "SHITTTTTTT" say kanki i gota think what can i prove i didnyr eat HERERRRRRER than kanki had to go shit "O SHIT GUYS I GOTA GO TOLET" "ya me to" said juge "ok i declare brake corr is adjorned"

tolet

kanki was shitibg he was saying "URGGGGGHHHHHHYHHHHHHH" and trying to puhsh the shit out and his face was al red from the presuee and then he shited out BUT TEHN SOME1 BROKE THE WALL OFF AND STRANGLED KANKI "UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" say kankei AND MADO WAS STRANGLENG HIM "DIE U NATSY GOOL FUCK!" AND JANKI GRABED THE ROPE AND USED IT TO PUL MADO IN "HI GOOL BICTH!" AND MADO USED HIS KAGAMI "HAHA THIS IS WING" and then a cople walk into the tolet and saw the 2 guys fighting n screming b said "WTF IM NOT SHITING HERE THAT DANGEROSE" and they drived to the nerby corthose to SHIT

butb then kanki WAS PUNCHENG MADO "U MOTHERFUCK U KILL MY MOMMY N DADDY PREP TO DIEEE AND HE USED HIS KAGAMI TO INPALE MADONAYSE "NOOOOO FUCK" sau mayo AS HE WAS STUCK ON HIS KAGANI "Y DID U KILL MY PARNEST!" say kanki in lust "BECUSE" said mado "UR PARENTS R EVILLLLL" and he droped a note and it said "IM KANKIS PARENTS AND I KILL PEPLE 4 FUN!" "NOOOOO" say kankei "IS MY PARENTS RLY BAD GUYS" "YA" said mayo "I ONLY KILD THEM BECUSE THEY WHERE FUCK SHI WAS TRYENG 2 SAVE U LIVE N THIS IS THANKS I GET!?" day masdo "IF U WANT 2 STOP BAD GUYS U SHOLD STOP UR EVIL ASSHOLE FAMELY! ATFER ALL U EVEN KILLED TOKEN!" say made "U ASSHOLE" and kankei PUNCH MADO AGANG THEN THE POLESE OUTSIDE HERD THEM FIGHTING "HEY HOSE THAT GET IN THEIR!" and they BROKE OPEN DOOR "ooh there cuming 4 u SEE U IN HELL" and mado SHOVED HES FACE INTO TOLET AND DROWNEF HIMSELF THE POLESE THEN SMASH OPEN THE DOOR "IST THE POLICE WHO FUCK IS THEIR!" say plise N THEY SMASH OPEN DOOR AND SAW MADOS DED BODY "ITS NOT WAT IT LOKS LIKE" say kanki "o ok" say pliae and they walked away

kanki then look in tolet so he cold see how big hes shit was THEN HEE SAW TOKAS DED BODY n he puled it out and then tokas mask fell off IT WAS BOT TOLAS DED BODY BUT AFGMGHOST DED BODY! "O MY SHIT I DIDENT KILL TOKA" say kanki

cort

kanki walk into corrt holding afmghost ded body "SEE GUYS" say car keys "I DIDENT KILL HIM I KILLED A STUPID HATER" "O SHITTT" said amen "hmm IT DOSENT MATER LOLOL" "hmm wel since u kiled asshole and not a sexy chick i declare kanki NOT GULTY" said the judging and confeti fly "yay" said karkeys "NOOOO FUCK" said amen and he wS ANGERY

tolet

amen went to shit after the triale but then HE SAW MADOS DEAD WAS THEIR "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY BFF" said amen crying

home

kanki was back home n the old guy with rinkles said "hmm so u dident kill toka shit man im so sory" "but then who did" say kanki

kankei was thicking about waht did mado say "is my parent rly ass bitches" "eh who cars lol" and he sleeped

BUT THEN OLD GUY WITH RINKLES SNEAKED UP ON HE IN BED!

2 be continue


	3. the salary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3 drunk salary guys are beeng fuckers

kaneki saves humens 3

work

kaneki was at work wiping the flore and tellng guys about his fight in the shit room so nishk say "im sry abote what hapen 2 u with the investigater dude and nerly dieing" "fuckin savages" "yea man wat 2 do" say kaneki "well" say nishki "here take these its a kagami" "u needed to take mados 1 2 kill him so that mean its not power much but this is" and he gave kanko a power kagami "o my shitting" say kaneki "isnt this ilegal" "i will make it legal jk but just dont tell any1 or ud prob die or shit lol" say nisheki "ive got ur back my bro" "im sry abote what hapened" say hiname "hey hiname i have a qestion for u" say nisheki "o yea wat is it" say hinamy "well do u ppl call it just little golf or is it just little girl golf to u" "PUNCH HIM IN THE DICK HINAME" say a dude there "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" sayed kanki and nisheki then they walk out

ken kanki was safe after kiling mado in the toelet so he was walking throgh the steerts all happy feeling and then 3 guys who were drunk salarymen look at woman and said "HEY SHES FUCKING HOT" anf threw an flower at her and she runed away scare then kanki cogned nervously and a salary man said "IS SOMTHING SICK ASSHOLE" "no its just i have a cold" say kanrki THEN SALARY MAN RIP OF KANKIS EYPATCH "O IL TELL U WAT U HAV" then they said "HMM HIS EYE IS LITTLE BIT RED HMM" AND THEY KICK KANKI THEN Knki FELL ON FLORE and they GIGGLES! THEN WILE THEY WERE KICKING HIM AND LAGHING KANKIS WINGS GOT BIG AND THREW ON AND IMPALE HIM AND THEN HIT OTHER ON "AHHHH FUCK" say last in pain THEN KANKI CHASE HIM AND STAB HIM BODY OVER OVER OVER! HE LYED ON STARES DED!

KANKI TOLET

KANKI WENT INTO TOLET TO SHIT THEN HE DANCED

the next day it was on tv "3 drunk walarydudes where kiled by a gool who is it" and kaneki was waching it but then the olde guy with rinkles walk and said "o shit but i dont car those drunk salarys where fucking dicks" and then they put on the cooking with sukiyama show

cooking with sukiyama

sukiyama was on tv and said "helo welcome to the cooking with sukiyama show" and he said "u now i herd about the drunk salary guys dieing of the gool but then i thoght wat if thry died of drunk drunk guys r like gools" and it was so funny every1 kept on laghing "OMG THESE IS HALARIOUS!" said jery signfield was shitting himself from laghing then sukiyummy said "nyways let me eat them" and he eated them "HMMM TASTE LIKE DRUNK" and then he was act drunk and jerri sighfield said "OMFG THIS DUDES HALARITY!" and kanki and old guy with tonkles who were waching it at home wrre laghing and then kankey day dreemed

day dream

kaneki was on the coking with sukiyama show and then kaneki was laghing and then the show was over and sukiyana said "whats ur name bro" then kaneki said "my names kankei i live in the tokiyo sity with old guy with rinkles" theneveryone laghed at him "hey i used to liv with an old guy with rinkles until i get my tv show dont lagh AT HIM U MOTHERFUCKS ITS NOT FUNNIY" say sukiyama and kaneki huged sukiamy when he said that and sukiyama said "ynow bro i think ur a sweat guy i wold give away all my shit to have a sun like u" and they huged

home

kanki was back home then old guy with rinkes said "o yea" "u got an invit to go viset him right" "yea man" say kaneki and he tochuedo the letter and got teleported to the sukiyama show

sukiyama

"yo kanki" said sukiyama "u wana have some dinger" "ya sure" said kooky and shittyyama broght out the plate and kanki ate the plate but then he had purple hare in him "WHAT IS THESE!?" and kanki spit it out "that just my hare" say sukiyuma "o ok" say kankey and he felt sick AND VOMIT ALL OVER TABE

AND ON TABLE WASNT TOKENS DEDA BODY! "WTF THE FUCK" say kaneki "AHHHHH" say kaneki "o yea ur old guy with rinlles donate this 2 me" say sukiyama "SO HE IS THE 1 WHO KILL hER" "yea" "NOOOOOOOOOOOO0" and kaneki RUNED HOME CRYENG IN SHIT FUCK

home

"WTF Y DID U EAT HER" say kagami "BECUSE I DIDNT" say oldes guy with rinkles "o ok" say kankanki and they weree eating the left overs of tokau

kaneki goes park

kaneki got his bicicle and droved to park and then he crashed his bike and then 2 polise guys walk up to him and say "kanki u mined if i talk u" "yes" say kaneki "ok so did u kill those drunk dudes and mado" say polise fuy "O SHIT UHH NOOO" and kanrki ran away "HEYYY CUM BACKKK" say polisers

kaneki is hom

kaneki was home with old guy with rinkles who said "hey dude u need 2 com watch this" and kaneki walk in and watch and it was tv

"im amen and i think i hav idea abote" but i was typing this chapter few day ago so i forgot what i was gona write here so i Type somthing else

then i rembed what i was gona thype

"O YEA I THINK KANKI DID T" and amen old guy with rinlles said "NOOOOO" and he faint amd had strocke

then kanki was at hossital with old guy with ninkles and look at tv IT WAS SUKIYAMA SHOW AND IT WAS AND HE WASE SO HAPPPPY

THIS SEEK ON COOKING WITH SUKIYAMA SHOW

"in a world were every1 thinks they can be a shef like me this guy just screems on bad food cheek out this joke"

"WTF THE FUCK" "SO HE IS THE 1 WHO KILL HER" say kanki "yea" say kamkie "NOOOOOOOO" say kanki

"O MY GOD" say kaneki waching it in hospital then

KANKI WAS WATVH WITH SMILES

then it cut to sukiyama in chare and he said u can say that again pal and then the signfield theem played and every1 laghed

AND KANKI WAS NOT SMILES NOW

kanki then look at old guy with rinkles who was hook up to mashine and saw picture of him smile and said love ur smile abe shinso and kanki said "SO HES MY DAD"

abe shinzo home

kanki was at japans white hose and the white hose music from sam n max was playing and kanki was at gate and buttler said "wtf do u want ashole" and kanki aaid "I WANT TO MEET MY DAD ABE" "wtf abe is not ur dad" and then KANKI STRANGLE THE BUTT AND STOP WALK BAVK HOME AND BUTLER WAS ALIVE

kamki hospital

kamii got a fone call and it was mr boss his boss and he said "WTF Y DO U HAVE A KAGAMI" "wat no i do dont" say kaneki "YEA U FORSED NISHEKI 2 GIVE U 1 HE TOLED ME" "nicheki said that" say ksnki "YEA UR FUCKEN FIRED PRICK" and mr boss hanged up

kanki hospital

kanki was at hospital and all angry after finding out abe shinzo is not rly his dad so he walk 2 old guy with rinkles and said "my hole life i thoght my wife was a sad movie now i relise its a fuckin joke movie" and he grab a pillow and suffecated old guy with rinkles with it who died

kaneki at toilet

kaneki was going toilet and he sawed abe shinzo pooing and kaneki said "HI DAD" "wtf im not ur dad" "BUT DAD" and kanki was coughing so much THEN ABE SHINZO PUNCH HIM "U TOCH MY BUTTLER AGAIN ILL FUCKEN KILL U" say he and he walk away

kaneki cryed and goed home

kanki home

nisheki and hinamy went to visit kanki kaneki was chillin in his hose then he got a ring bell "COMMING" say kankieki he open door then hee sawed nisheki "fuck u" say kaneki and he frowned then he saw hinamy "O HI COME IN" say kaneki and he smiles "hows it going" say hiname "my mentore dyed im selebrating" "yea i herd he died is u ok" sayed nisheki "yea" "sry abote it kaneki" say hinamy "yea yea i care abote u kanki wich is why i went 2 visit u" say nisheki "o yea wat is it bro say kaneki" "wl u see those drunc dudes died the old guys deth the polese have besn asking abote u the muderer was gool u see" "i dint now" say hiname "that becuse the suspect was a regular size grown up if it was a fucking little girl u wold be jail right now" "HAHAHAHAHA" say kanek nisheki say "ummm enywey mr boss said tey talked 2 u and now there lookink for mee" "i just wana now what u sid make sure ore storys line up seeing as tho ur my bro andddd" "o yea thank u nisheki thank u so much" say kanki "also bro can u give me back my kagami" say nisheki "kk" suyed kaneki and he grab kagami out his pocket then he run up 2 nisheki "ok DO U MEAN THIS 1 U BICH?!" "yes thanks ka" HEN KANEKI STAB NISHEKI IN NECK WITH IT "AWWWWWWWWWEEEE" scream nosheki then kaneki quackly RIPPED THE KAGAMI OUT NECK THEN RIP NISHEKIS GLASES OF then STICK THE KAGAMI IN NISHEKIS EYES "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" say nisheki in pain "KANEKI KANKI NOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOO" say hiname AND KANKI GRAB NISHEKI TUMMY THEN TURN HIM ARONDE THE N SLAMMED NISHEKIS HED INTO WALL OVER AND OVER "WHYD U DO THAT Y Y Y" say hinamE THEN left him ded on flore and kaneki was all tire and out breth "WHAT THE FUCK KANEKI" say hiname "becuse u r the only 1 who wase nice 2 me" say kanki AND HINAME RUN OUT DOOR "UHHHH THATS GROSE" say hiname looking at nishekis body on floor "dont loook hiname its ok just run door" say kaneki "HELP IM TO SHORT OPEN" then kankk did ROAR to scare here but then he ssid "jk i wont hurt u" and he gived her a kiss then open door then kaneji got a knife and spoon "hmm were haviñg cooked nisheki tomight say kaneka

kanki did a dance on stares

2 be continue


	4. end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk

kaneki dosent save humens 4

KANEKI WAS IN CHARE LIKE IN INTRO ANF CRYENG SINGING SONG

and then it went crazy pike deth note and said WATS UP PPL and shit

the kaneki guy was finaly embrasing that he is a gool man so he was eating nishki after killing him in hes apatment and he said HAHA IM NOT HUMEEEEN but then the polise dudes nocked on hes door but kanki just KILLED THRM AND EAT THEM

kaneki ws going to shop 2 buy food then he saw hide "O SHIT I FORGET U WERE IN THIS STORY" say kaneki "yea man" say hiding and then hide said "nyways bro i got this fone call 4 u" and on fone was SUKIYAMA "U MOTHERPHUCKER I HATE SUKIYAMA" then kaneki DETATAPATE HIDES HED! "FUCK UUUUUUU" sayed hide as his hed was flyeng of into the great voclano "yo kaneki i rly liked ur shit and the ppl thoght ur clip was funny so com on show" "ok" say kaneik

kaneki gose shoping

kaneki was at shops and then a hot chick who was nice had annoy kid then point hed at her face and did a figger gun espressin

kaneki jome

kaneki stalk her than went her aparmtment and said "yo i do stand up u wana see" "yea" say lady

stand up

kaneki was doing stand up said "hey so my dad telled me school is cool but its shit" and lady look at him happy

home

kanrki was home then lady was home to but then he broke in her room AND HE SAW THERE SHE WAS HAVING FUCK SEX WITH A ANOTHER LADY "WAAAAAAAAATTT THE FUCKKKKK" say kaneki "FUCK U ITHOUGHT U LOVED ME" AND HE GOT GUN AND SHOOT THEM BORTH FOR CHEATING HIM

kaneki save humens

i forget i dident have him save any1 yet i only had him kill drunk guys so ill have him save

amen who was mados boss was KIDNAPING HUMENS BECUSE HE NOWS KANKI LIKES THEM and hd said "mawhawhawhawhaw KANEKI u will have 2 kill me OR ELSE ILL KILL HIDE" "SAVE ME KANKEKI" sayed hide who was trap with him tryeng to get out hen kaneki climb up walls like spider pig and he then used kagami to fly and he DERAPITATED AMEN NOOOPOOOOO SAID AMEN AS HIS HED WAS FLYIIIIIIIIIIING OOOOOOOF "thx 4 saving me" said hide

THIS IS I FORGET

kaneki was going on trane to go to sukiyama show so then some guus where dressed up as gools and said WE R ALL GOOLS so kaneki said i used to think im fake but i now im real and the they got on trane and kaneki killed more drunk guys n every1 chereed and then he looked on tranes tv with abe shinso and he said IM SO SAD THOSE DRUNK DUDES DIED and then amen chased kanki then he shoved him then a gool protester shot amen and kaneki walk into sukiyama show

sukiyama entry

it was like the channel 9 stage on the sampsons arcade and kaneki was fighting all bad guys and throwed tv at rhem and then saw a alien and ronbot the he killed them and then at the end A BIG KABUKI GUY COME OUT

HE WAS SAID OOH AND THEN BOSS MUSIC AMD HE WAS SWINING HIS SPEER THEN KANEKI KICKED HIM THEN KABUKI STARTED SWINING LIKE TORNADO THEN KANEKI KICK IT THEN USE IT TO CUT OF KABUKI GUYS LEFT HAND THEN HE WAS LIKE GORO AND KABUKI PICKED UP KANEJI AND THROWED HIM ACROSS THE ROOM AND KANEKI FLYED AND KICKED HIES HED THEN PUNCHED HIM THEN HE SLAPOED HIM THEN HE CHARGE UP HIS KAGAMI THEN HE DIED

then kaneki was walking out and saw hide running on helicoptor then kaneki jump it and flyed of

kaneki vs hide

kaneki walk into room and hide said WELLCOME TOO MY WORLD and started thowing bombs at him then kaneki pick up bomb and throwed it back rhen hit hide then hide said HAHAHA AHH then bombs exploded on hide then robo sukiyama walked out said WELLCOME TO UR GRAVES SUCKERS actuly thats stupid he just walk onto set for sukiyama show

then he walk 2 sukiyama show so he can get in and kanek was watching it before his time

SUKIYAMA SHOW

"FROM TV TOKYO STUDIOS ITS COOKIMG WITH SUKIYAMA" say a man "TONIGHT WELL BE WACHING SUKIYAMA COOK AND HELL BE INTERVEWING SOME PPL TO" "HERE R TOMIGHTS GUSTS LIGHT YAGMI PHENIX WRITE IZUKE MIDOYIRA SPIKE BEBOP AND KEN KANKEI "AND NOW GIRLS N DUDES HEEEEEEREEEEEEES SUKIYAAAAAAAAAMA" then sukiyama walk out AND EVERYON CLAP "THANK U THANK U" say sukiyama

kaneki was watching him all happy

cooking

sukiyama was cooking touka chan "ok so we pour some salad on her face" then the GRILL WET ON FIRE "shit" said sukyama "o well well just interview insted" and he throwed the grill out window

light yagami intervew

light was on stage THEN HE GOT NOTEBOOK "SHITE HES A DEATH NOTE" then he said GURD GET RITO and guard got him

phenix wriye interview

phenix wrote was on stage "my mummy told me i sholdnt have been lawyer" "u sholdve lisened to you mom" say sukiyama "fuck well im not" "u can say that again pal" say sukiyama "FUCK YOUUUUUIUU" say pjenix then sakauama call gard to arest erite

izuke interbiew

"hi deku" "NO IM NOT USLESS" say izaka then he run out cryeng

"NRXT WE INTERVEW KANEKI AND THEN LUCKY LATS SPIKE BEBOPPPP! SAY SUKOYADA

sumiyama show

sukiyama show was on tv and said "B4 WE GET KANKI LETS WATCH HIS CLIP" and then they wach and he said "yea man this guys a fukface" "ANYWAY LET LETS HIM ON SHOW"

kanki preps

kanki ws in his room prepering then sukiyana went and sayd "yea bro ur up next be ready and shit" "ok and sukiyama jut 1 small thing" say kekei "yea" "wehn u bring me out can u introduze me as haise sasake" "uhhh sure bro man" say sukiyama

"NEXT UP WE HAVE HAISE SASAKE" say he was on the show and jass music played anf then he said "HI SUKIYAMA" "so u said ur a chef lets find out about chef thing" "yea" and kaneki was reading his book then said "peanut sandwich toaster make peanut toast" and the sukiyama said "U NEEDED A BOOK 4 THAT WTF LOL" then kaneki said "urghhhh alcehol" "what else" "salarys" "ok"" said suki "and guys" "wut" say suki then kanki drop the salary guys bosy on flore "lets here tell us what do that make" "ok" say kaneki "it makes" "THE DRUNK MOTHERFUCKERS I KILLED"" then sukiyama said "is that the name of you brand" "no i rly did kill drunk motherfuckers" day kanoki "so ur being srs u telling us killed those drunk guys on the streets" "YEA" say kenaki "and y shold i believe u" "i got nothing u can do bich i dont car anout time outs" "u cant make me angry or sad or not happy" say kanki "im awsome" "my life is nothing bur a funny movie" "so let me get this right u mother bich" say suki "u think eating drunk ppl is tastey" "ya i do" say kNki "and im sick of thinking its not" "we al like diffrent food that dosent were naughty" say kanki "asholes like u desude whats good or naughty or whats delisious or SHIT" say kanki "ok so i think i get u u killed them to eat them? to be a shef?" "come on sukiyama do i look like the kind of gool that cold make food" say kanuke "i killed them becuse they where stupid asholes every1 this day is asshole its enogh to make ppl CRASY" "so thTs it u killed guys becuse ur CRASY thats ur defense gor kiling thre guys" say sukiyama "no they coldnt drink alcehol to save there lives" THEN EVERY1 WENT BOOOOOOOOOO " ALL PISSD OFF" say kanki "IF IT WAS ME U WOLDNT GIVE A SHITTING FUCK" "U ONLY CAR BCUS ABE SHINSO CRYED ABOTE IT ON TEVEVISION" "u have a porblem with abe shinzo" say sukiyama "YAS I DO" say kanki "THAT GUY THINKS IT FUN BEING GOOL U EVER LEVE THE STUDO SUKIYAMAI AND SEE WHAT ITS LIKE ITS SHIT I HATE U ALL" "u done u done yet i mean thats so much feel bad 4 youself" say sukiyama "lissen here kanki leme tell u this not every1 and ill tell u this not every1 is shit" said mur i mean sukiyama "ur shit sukiyama" "ME IM SHOT O YEA IM SHIT HOW THE SHIT AM I SHIT" say sukiyama "BRINING ME HERE U JUST WANTED 2 MAKE FUN OFF ME UR JUST LIKE THA OTHER BICHES" "u dont now shit about me u dumass" say sukiyama "look what happen becuse of stuped shit u did wat it led 2" "their r riets oug their" "KANEKI LAGH 2 investigater men r ded becuse of wat u did ur laghing ur laching some1 was killed becuse of uur laghing" "ikr lol" say kanki "how abote another meal sukiyana" "na i think we had enogh of ur shitty food" say sukiyama "WAT DO U GET" "na fuck off call the polise boss" WEN U MIX A MENTALY ILL GOOL WITH A SOSIETY THAT DOSENT LET HIM FUCKING EAT WITHOTE KILLING DUDES" "bro shut up u food taste like shit" "AND WEN U THROW IN A KAGAMI AND A SHITHED" "shut up that dont even make sense" "ILL TELL U WAT IT TASTE LIKE" "i think were done here fuck off" "U TASTE LIKE WAT U FUCKEN DISERVE" THEN KANEKS THROWED KAGAMI AT SUKIYAMAS HED AND SAKAYAMA DYED INSTENTLY HE FLOPPED BACK N HE WAS DEAD ON HIS CHARE EVERY1 STARTED SCREEMING THEN OANEKI LAUGHED HIS ASS OF then he got up and THROWED KAGAMI AT SUKIYANA BELLY then he walk down to camera "GOODNITE BUT FIRST LETS HAVE MEEL" said kanki then kanki walk to sukyana body AND EAT IT "HMM TASTE LIKE FUCKING DESERVE" say kaneki then he WALK OVER BACK TO CAMERA then kaneki say "GOODNITE MOTHER FUCKS" was about to PUNCH IT vit then

WE R CURENTLY EXPERIESING TECNICAL DIFICULTIES come up and spanesh flee was playeng

"BRAKING NEWS TONIGHT FAMOSE GOURMEY SHEF SHOE SHITYAMA WAS FUCKING KILLED DEAD WITH A KAGAMI ON HIS LIV SHOW COOKING WITH SUKIYAMA he was killed ded by gool name ken kaniki who wa introdused by sukiyama as haise saseke POLESE R ASKING KEN RIGHT NOW"

AND IT WAS SAYING THIS IN OTHER LANGUGES TO IT WAS BRODCASTING IN EVERY CUNTREE

and there was a tv with lots of tvs saying it in differ langages

"HERE IS WHAT HAPPEN IN SHOW" say news

"ILL TELL U WAT TASTE LIKE TASTE LIKE WAT U BEEPING DESERVE" THRN KANEKI THREW KAGAMI AT SUKIYAMA HED N SUKIYAMA FLOPPED ON CHARE

OUTSIDE EVERY1 WAS LIKE BRO DID U SEE THAT HE GOT FUCKEN KILLED ON TV "YEAAAA MAAANNN" AND KANEKI WALK OUT AND WAS IN CAR THEN KANEKI KILLED THE CARVGUY THEN GOT OUT THEN WAS ON CAR THEN DID SILLY FACE THEN COP ARREST KANEKI THEN TRUCK KILLED COP THEN KANEKI WAS FREE AND LEEDER OF GOOL REVOLOTION

lots of gools were cheering for him as ken kanki who is now name hase saske is there ledder and said "HASE SASAKE HASE SASAKE HASE SAJAKE"

meenwhile abes butler was going back from work then a guy said "UR ABOTE TO GET WAHT U FUCKEN DESERVE" "NO BRO" say butlre then he shootted abe shinsos butler and he at him scare

Then kaneki was in class laghing and techer said "wold u like 2 tell me the joke" "no lol u woldnt get it" say kanike smocking a cigerete "ok" say tecaher

then kaneki was runing down school hallway with blood everwhere

Then they


End file.
